In a Galaxy Far, Far Away

With the advent of beautiful social media tools such as YouTube, I have been able to rediscover an entire load of nonsense that I used to watch way back when videos actually had to be painstakingly downloaded either via IRC or some external website. Obviously as my absentmindedness goes, I have lost a number things in my lifetime, data included, and I was thrilled to find some gems that I used to have. This of course will be shown in due course.

But first, let me introduce the subject at hand. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog is perhaps the most awesome thing to ever be created on late night TV. Of course gone are the days when we actually had decent late night shows like Letterman and Conan on Channel 5, when I would religiously stay up on Saturday nights just to catch Letterman’s Top 10 list. I shan’t even go into the mediocrity that is the state of cable TV now, but thanks to YouTube, I have managed to dig up some vestiges of the past humour I used to enjoy on a regular basis. Now, as far as roving reporters go, NO ONE comes close to Triumph. But before I start to sound mildly retarded going on about a hand puppet dog reporter, I think I shall let the videos do the talking.

This is, in my opinion, his best clip to date – the opening night of Attack of the Clones. Enjoi

And here’s Part 2

Looks like a good movie.. FOR ME TO POOP ON!

Who Has the Biggest Brain?

Allow me to rant for awhile. As I near the completion of my third year in SMU, I think I have the right to at least give a short commentary on the evolution of the SMU student. If I could make a guess, I think my seniors, those that are about to graduate as well as those who have long graduated, would shudder at the current quality of students entering SMU. Back when SMU first started out, it was more or less viewed as a dumping ground. I have a lot of respect for the people that chose SMU over the other local universities when it first started. They were risk-takers, with the hope that the different teaching system that SMU offered from the other universities would provide them with an edge. Now that the success stories have been plastered over every form of media available, the entrance criteria has skyrocketed to insane levels.

The irony is that the students they take in now may be academically strong, but it is their academic strength that goes against the very ethos of the SMU education system. I am of the opinion that a lot (and I don’t mean everyone) of the students now view SMU as some success-making factory that owes it to them to make sure they land some awesome job with a nice fat paycheck. Basically, they’re here to be spoon fed. Over the past semester, I’ve actually been able to observe that first hand with a class of first year students and believe me, it was a rather disturbing thought. Was the system meant to be one in which muggers thrive and excel? No. Go to NUS if you must. I do think my batch of 2005 did bring in the mugger culture that is so prevalent now in SMU, but things have just really gotten out of hand. Students asking for the course text book (for LTB!!!) before term starts so they can “read up”?? I can just about hear all the seniors gagging and holding back their vomit right now.

Ok. I’m done ranting. But more than that.. Some of us may have finally found the solution to even out the playing field. There is hope, my friends. And here it is:

Please. Go check this out for yourself here. You will not regret it (unless you have 4 exams or a thesis to write). But it is addictive. You have been warned.

Anyways, this is the new solution to our problem – the fact that muggers are, or have been, taking over the school. Their insanely competitive nature will consume them in this highly competitive game that constantly compares your brain size to the rest of your friends’ after you play the game. It also secretly laughs at your pathetic processing abilities by giving you different ridiculous ranks such as Squidlian and Calcubot. The fact of the matter is I have played 50 games and already feel drained, but these guys will just go on and on. Needless to say, the more this game gets perpetuated among the “relevant” student population, the higher the chances of the emergence of an inversely proportionate relationship between time spent playing the game and GPA of the students.

Bearing in mind how addictive this game actually is, what you are about to see below is paranormal, to say the least. The WORLD number 1 player, Uri, has played the game EIGHT-FREAKIN-HUNDRED times. Knowing this may give you a slight understanding of what you will see in the video, but really.. after playing the game, you may still not comprehend how he does this. You may be interested to know that Uri hails from the land of Israel, where they milk goats by day, and play this Brain Game in their leisure time. 40 times a day. Ok, less talk more rock. Check this mad guy out:

Disclaimer: Don’t blame me if you fail all your exams, can’t find a job/get fired from your job and basically become penniless and homeless because you clicked on the link to the game. It’s about to happen to me.